Classic Comeback - Games of 2011 | Saint Row: The Third and Finding Your Identity

Back in the 90’s we got the quintessential First Person Shooter: DOOM. It had everything going for it, controversy, popularity, media coverage and a great shotgun. DOOM was different. Back in the 90’s we also got the defining open-world game: Grand Theft Auto. It had everything going for it. It was controversial, genre-defining and incredibly popular. 

In short: The 90’s was a good decade to be a gamer.

So why - in an article about Saints Row: The Third - am I talking about Grand Theft Auto and DOOM? Well, I’ll tell you why: both these games received their fair share of clones and rip-offs throughout their life. That’s not to say that all games in those genres were copycats. But as the gold standard, they were also the first point of comparison for their rivals.

This is the most 2006 video game art I’ve ever seen.

Fast forward to 2006. The Xbox 360 has just launched and with it, Saints Row. It is instantly deemed a “GTA Clone” by press and gamers alike, and by all regards it is. Everyone could draw comparisons to Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Yet despite this Saints Row had something different about it.

To understand Saints Row: The Third, you need to understand what makes Saints Row different from Grand Theft Auto in the first place. Almost every protagonist in a Grand Theft Auto game has a pre-existing backstory. This defines their character, they have a voice and past experiences to draw on. Not in Saints Row. In Saints Row… you’re an average guy. You also only have maybe five lines of dialogue but, outside of that, you could be anybody.

The first Saints Row has you help the gang, The Third Street Saints, rise to the top of the food chain in a ruthless city. Now again, we’ve seen this all before but hang in there. Unlike other games, Saints Row had one major thing going for it. It was way, way over the top. No matter how much you play the game, in Grand Theft Auto an RPG will kill you. Tanks will crush you, heights hurt and trains turn you into red mist.

If I ever met a man who blown up an RPG, got crushed by a tank, fell from the top of a building and got smacked by a train only to stand up and dust himself off. I’d shit myself. In Saint Row, you are that guy and the more you play, the more ridiculous it gets. Things only get weirder in the side activities. Yes gangs drug trafficking isn't anything new, but an insurance fraud mini-game? Not exactly in the repertoire of most gangs.

This isn’t Grand Theft Auto, it is Swell Robbery Vehicle…

This was compounded in Saints Row 2. The story sees you take the place as leader of the gang and goes further into GTA-like clone territory, with the game having the gang back at square one. You have more lines of dialogue and in parts, the game becomes very grim and you even feel sympathy for these psychopaths. But it’s still pretty dumb. I mean, lowering the property value of a neighbourhood by covering it with the contents of a septic truck? Being a fake cop for a TV reality show? More insurance fraud?!

The game leans into the protagonist having a voice and the comedy that ensues, but also the absurdity of the situation. You wake up from a five-year coma and break out of prison not half an hour later? It’s unheard of. Follow that up by walking into a courthouse and breaking your best friend out of his trial? Productive 24 hours if nothing else.

Honestly, this is probably one of the less weird things Burt Reynolds has done.

I feel I’ve beaten the horse to death at this point though. We get it, Saints Row is funny but you haven't explained what makes Saints Row: The Third so special! ‘Why do you love it so?’ I hear you cry. It’s simple. Saints Row: The Third takes everything great about its predecessors and builds on it. The Saints are not a gang anymore, they’re an international brand! You and The Saints are living it up with famous TV stars while robbing banks has become just a hobby now.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: You start off in a city with no money or influence, you build a gang up from nothing and by the end of the game you own the city. It’s the same plot as Saints Row 1 and 2. Yet, The Third goes further with its over the top roots and comedy meaning you never get bored. I mean you go from robbing a bank, to skydiving out a crashing plane, to robbing the military… all in one mission.

The Cyber-Goths were just born at the wrong time, a few years later and they’d be TikTok stars.

And the stakes! Oh my god, just when you thought they could not get higher. The game keeps raising the fucking bar! The gangs aren't typical gang bangers now, instead, they’re Cyber-Goths, a Belgian Mafia and god damned Luchadores! All in one powderkeg of a new city. It’s great.

To drop a real bombshell here: At one point, a PMC army turns the city into an island of zombies, and the mayor, who is Burt Reynolds might I add, asks you to clean it up. I am surprised I am not lying when I say this, but one of your gang members is a pimp that you rescue from a BDSM brothel, and he then acts as your horse while you ride a chariot for a later mission.

Now, let me make this clear: Saints Row: The Third is not some diamond in the rough. Saints Row: The Third is what happens when you find your niche and embrace it. It’s not a ‘GTA Clone’ anymore. Yes, it still has similar satire to the American way of life, the difference is though, it's much less subtle and is better for it.

Grand Theft Auto V had vans of Pißwasser, parody TV, and biting political satire in the form of fake ad campaigns that all played it straight-faced and have aged like vinegar as a result. Saints Row, on the other hand, just stopped taking itself so damn seriously all the time. Many serious moments are undercut by equal amounts of parody. Save your friend from certain death? Bonnie Tyler’s Holding Out For a Hero is your backing track. 

At nearly every point in this game where you are given a serious choice or situation, something absurd is meshed into the scene. The game is almost written to be apathetic towards the idea of a straight-faced scene. Even the DLC was absurd. In Gangstas in Space, you are shooting a movie, about gangsters stopping an alien invasion.

Citizen Kane (1941)
Director: Orson Wells

Whilst writing this I got lost for a word, so I asked my brother for help. We then started talking Saints Row, and to give you an idea of just how little Saints Row: The Third really cares, we mistook DLC for Saints Row IV for Saints Row: The Third DLC. I mean… velociraptors singing walk the dinosaur? I’m doing hand gestures guys! (Also the word was apathetic - I used it last paragraph)

However, my point here is, even 10 years and one remaster later, Saints Row: The Third is still and will always probably be the best Saints Row game for one simple reason. This is the game where the series found its footing. When you mention Saints Row, people think about Saints Row IV, but that game would not be what it is, without Saints Row: The Third. This is only made more evident if you compare the two. By IV there were aliens and you had superpowers, all followed by a trip to hell that was inspired by Disney’s Frozen! If the series had kept on its course from the previous instalments, the series would just be another Grand Theft Auto clone.

Saints Row: The Third is where The Saints found their identity. Undercutting every serious moment with absurdist comedy makes the series what it is. This isn't the tongue in cheek style of comedy from Grand Theft Auto either. Saints Row: The Third is in your face and unapologetic and that’s the voice that followed into the next two instalments of the series.

Me and the boys after we get vaccinated.

If you have not played Saints Row: The Third I highly recommend you do. If you and a friend have not played Saints Row: The Third, I recommend even more strongly that you play this game co-op! You can get the remaster and all the DLC, and let me tell you now, you will have hours of fun. Take it from the guy with 110 hours of playtime. It’s all just a bit ridiculous.